Below is my open letter to all my fellow Gauchos and IV residents that felt the effects of the villainous event that occurred in Isla Vista on 05/23/2014. I shared this letter with my friends and at the Gaucho Solidarity in LA event. I was asked to post it in a separate page so it would not get lost in my blog as the days went on, so here it is! If nothing else, I hope this letter reinforces how much you are loved.
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To My Dear Sibling,
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To My Dear Sibling,
Words cannot ever express all of the emotions that we are all feeling right now. The family of UCSB stretches far and wide, across state borders and county lines, across countries and oceans. Anyone who was ever a student, and anyone who has ever had a child that was a student, is heartbroken and devastated with the news of this tragedy. I was a student at UCSB last year and have been back in IV countless times since moving to LA for a one year nursing program. I have plans to move back into the community in just a few short weeks from now. I was there on Thursday; I missed this event by less than 24 hours. Believe me when I say that although I am not in IV with you right now, my spirit and my heart are there in ways that run so deeply that I could never call myself an “out of towner”. You are my family and my blood and I am grieving alongside with you during this tragedy. I have walked those streets a million times. I know each brick; I know each corner. My heart breaks for my city and it breaks for all of the amazing people in it.
I wish I could have been there this week to give out as many hugs as humanly possible. Most of my friends are still in school and I would have liked nothing more than to hold them back in my arms and tell them how much they mean to me—something I unfortunately have learned the hard way is necessary to do. But even more than that—I wanted to be there to hug you. Yes, you. I wanted to be there for my brothers and sisters and everyone that is impacted by this terrible ordeal. I truly believe that only love can drive out hate and I have witnessed firsthand the incredible capacity that the students at UCSB and the residents of Isla Vista have to love one another. This week has shown that and I hope that you have felt the wave of comfort and community that these strangers that are your family have been pouring out.
I don’t know your stage of grieving and I do not pretend to. I will never understand exactly how you feel or how this affects you. But I hope to let you know that it is okay to grieve any way that you need to. Some people experience grief so profoundly that it shakes them to the core. It is hard to function, crying constantly seems like the only way to cope, and sadness overcomes them. That is okay. It is so important to let yourself feel all of the feelings that you need to in order to properly grieve your loss. Seeking help from a counselor or a therapist does not make you weak and it doesn’t make you crazy; it makes you human. If you feel like you could benefit from something like that, and many of us can, please don’t hesitate to do so. It doesn’t matter if you knew the victims or if you even felt very connected to the town beforehand, it is okay to feel devastating loss and heartbrokenness. Your feelings are valid.
I also want to mention the friends and people in my life that aren't grieving. Guess what? That's okay too. Some people just do not feel the pain or the devastation that shakes them to the core during this tragedy. It doesn't mean they are callous. It doesn't mean they are uncaring. It doesn't mean that they can't comfort you. It is absolutely okay to feel happy even through this trial we are facing as a community. I hate that some people feel ashamed or like something is wrong with them because they aren't feeling what everyone else is. Some people are in shock and just cannot accept that what happened is an actual reality; it seems to foreign and make believe. Others fully understand the reality of the situation, but just do not feel the tug at their emotional heartstrings in the same way. That is okay. There is no reason to feel guilty for how you do or you do not feel. Grief doesn't have to fit into some perfect mold. Their choice to keep on living their life with a huge smile does not cheapen the sorrow that others are feeling. These people must be recognized and accepted too during this time period. It is okay to feel pain and grief differently than others and it is okay to not feel devastation and sorrow at all. If this isn’t you, it might be someone you know. Keep them in mind too.
I love my hometown. The outpouring of blessings and love and support has been absolutely overwhelming from what I have been hearing and seeing. There is no shortage of hope and connectedness. This is what I am most proud of about my community. It is a community where people love each other so deeply and so well that it affects thousands of people. It is people like you that make the constant effort every single day to make love and goodwill a priority that makes this place one of the most incredible places to live. Keep letting your light shine Isla Vista because you are one heck of a town. I do not know your spiritual beliefs, but my God says "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" Genesis 50:20 and “He turned the intended curse into a blessing because the Lord your God loves you” Deuteronomy 23:5. While the perpetrator may have intended havoc and chaos, God will use that evil and work it for His good. May IV shine ever the more brightly and may this be a time where many people can truly see the loving face of Jesus Christ. Evilness is not of God; this horrific act was not of God. But God can use everything for His good and His purpose and will redeem the beautiful place I call home. May the love flow forevermore out of IV and may it be known as a place of radical love. I apologize if you hear any radical Christians, or other religious groups, saying otherwise. Please know that God did not intend evil to be done, but that He can make this tragedy into something that is used for good.
If you do not believe in God, please do not tune that part out. Whether you are a believer or not, the message stands true in the hearts of this community—something that was done that was purely evil will be used to bring hope and life into our beautiful community in ways we could only dream of. I know we have it all in us to not let our beautiful friends die in vain. We will celebrate their lives by continuing to love our neighbors, not just during tragedies, but during all moments in life. We will show kindness to those that appear to be alone. We will smile and hug and laugh and cherish those that we hold dear and never let a day go by without telling at least one person how much they mean to you. We will live purposeful lives that radiate love to everyone we know because we choose to stand in the light and not in the darkness. This town has already been such a beacon of love in the past few years and I know that we will use this tragedy to only strengthen our love for one another and deepen our relationships with our neighbors. You are such an important person in my life and in the lives of all of those around you. Let your light shine for all to see. Keep doing random acts of kindness for one another—leave encouraging notes taped to your seat in Broida Hall, pay for the person’s lunch at Subway, surprise your friends with flowers, cook come cookies for your neighbors, invite that one kid in your CLAS class to your kickback, buy someone a pitcher at Gio’s. Keep living the life that you were always destined to live and keep the light shining so brightly that all the world can see it. We need people like you and our beautiful UCSB/Isla Vista community to show this world what it really means to be someone that loves like it is their mission in life—what it is like to be a Gaucho.
I am standing with you in prayer, in well-wishes, in spirit, and in sorrow. You are an incredibly important person and you mean so much to me and to this community. Get the help you need emotionally, physically, spiritually, communally, and then fight back with all that you have. We are Gaucho Strong and we will not be shaken. Let’s show this world together what it truly means to be a Gaucho. Let’s leave a legacy of love that casts out all fear and drives out all hate. Let’s change the world one person at a time. Let’s honor our fallen friends with a life that is infectious with love. I stand by you and I partner with you my dear sibling. I love you.
Love Always,
Klocko
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