A Fitting Beginning

Welcome to the blog! I am really pumped that you are reading it! I figure that I will have a constant viewer of like one person... my mom... but you're here now and that means the world to me!

If you have not yet clicked the links on the right hand side, I encourage you to do so. It explains my reasons behind the blog, as well as what you can expect from it day-to-day, week-to-week. It may be the blog for you, it may not be, but I encourage you to continue to choose love in your daily lives whether you do it with me or not. As mentioned on one of those two links which I know you either totally read or are totally about to read, I am writing this as an accountability for myself moreso than a preach-it-to-the-world thing. What that does NOT mean is that I don't care about you and your insights. If you were able to choose love in a way you want to share, PLEASE do. If you have ideas of how myself or others can be better examples of love, please share that too. I am writing with the idea that I may not have many viewers, but I would be thrilled to have you on the journey with me to live a life exemplifies love.

This is a fitting beginning for me. It is situated right after my birthday and a day before the start of Lent. It is a perfect time of reflection for me to see where I have been and where I want to go. I can imagine that there are a lot of different views about me as a person, but I am going to focus on two for right now. *Caution there will be white girl ghetto talk/awkward jokes/puns that aren't funny throughout the blog because I talk to myself in crazy ways in my head and isn't a blog just you talking to yourself? So here are two types of people I am going to address right now:
1. Person A: Girl you are so wonderful. You like to help people and you are just rad. I can't believe you need to choose to love people everyday.
            Well Person A probably consists of a grand total of 0% of the world's population. I probably couldn't even swing my parents along for the ride. But I'm addressing my imaginary friend anyways. I do like to help people; I've been doing it as far as I can remember. A lot of times people see some guarded exterior of me and don't realize all of the acts of love I have been doling out my whole life. I am actually incredibly shy towards people that I'm not super close to and most of the times my shyness comes off as me being stuck-up. For that, I am sorry. I hope you never feel judged by me. I think some people would be shocked to know I can actually be self-sacrificing to a fault. Sometimes I help people at the expense to myself without them even knowing. This isn't a good quality either. If you don't have something for yourself, you can't give it away. Like the old saying goes "Beware if the naked man offers you his shirt". I've been working on fixing both sides of this problem too. The point of addressing Person A is this: I don't care if somehow, magically, through this process I end up looking like Mahatma Gandhi (one of my favorite people like... ever.). There will always be work to be done. There will always be temptation to be reactionary based on my emotions or temptation to say no to helping someone else. It is always a choice to love someone and it never ends. Please continue to encourage me in ways to love others. I am always willing to learn and always willing to hear your criticisms.

2. Person B: You are a jerk. I remember one time at band camp...
           I'd like to refer you back to Person A's explanation: sometimes my extreme shyness can come off as stuck-up, uninterested, or judgmental. I can assure you that the only thing really going through my mind is how uncomfortable/nervous/awkward I feel. Nevertheless, there have been times in my life where I have been a total jerk for real and for all of those who feel like they're in that situation: I am completely and sincerely sorry. I invite you to talk to me about it. I have changed an insane amount from high school to college, and in the last year in college alone I have completely become a different person. I have a lot of the same interests, sure, but I am definitely not the same. All thanks to Jesus. For real though. That man has absolutely transformed my life and is working hard on improving me every single day. I hope that you will forgive me for my old self if I have done you wrong, and I encourage you to choose love and afford me grace. That is the amazing thing about Jesus: He takes you as you are, but He never leaves you there. I hope you will be able to see past my past and see who I am now. I hope that through this blog you will be able to see that my life now is a reflection of God's love. Yes, I will still stumble and fall at times, but Jesus is always there to redeem me and carry the weight. There are few things to me more beautiful than a sinner living a life of redemption. I hope that I can become the person that when I die people say "she never said a bad word about others; she just loved them". So from here on out, I would love to have you start this transformation with me. Choose love with me.